You get coffee with your girlfriends, with potential dates, with your mate, but have you ever noticed how meaningless the statement actually is?
I was watching an episode of Sex and the City, the episode where Carrie runs into Aidan and his baby and says that seemingly acceptable line, "We should get coffee sometime."; and it got me to thinkin'.
How many times have you run into an ex, an old classmate, an old friend or acquaintance: more often than not, these people haven't been in your life for a reason, but you feel it necessary to extend this "run-in" to "catch-up" at some point in time? The almost automatic suggestion is, "We should get coffee sometime".
Yes, the idea of seeing how this person that had a role in your life is doing, and I'm sure that you'd like to inform them of all the good that's been going on in your life as well, but realistically, how often is this proposal met? Usually, contact information isn't ever exchanged; this I believe is because both parties expect the other is going to try to find them on facebook and shoot them a message, but is rarely the case.
"We should grab coffee sometime" is almost the default polite statement, rather than invitation, to close one of those semi-awkward run-ins. It lessens the obviously uncomfortable mood that the interlude has taken, whomever making the offer taking on the role of "the bigger person" in a sense.
Is it that, "We should grab coffee sometime" is an almost a passive-aggressive inquiry? The person that puts it forth first, appearing as though they're calm, cool, confident and collected? But if handled strategically, the agreement to this proposal could even out that playing field. One could respond simply by saying, "You took the words right out of my mouth"! But don't appear to be overly excited about this fictitious meeting; say, for example, "Oh my gosh! That would be so wonderful! I'm looking forward to it!".
This doesn't hold true for all situations though. Sometimes friends move away and you do in fact lose tough and meeting them for a caffeine fix is a friendly and desired gesture to genuinely see how that person is doing and what they've been up to. Perhaps you ran into an old co-worker that you used to gossip with, but lost touch after you (or they) quit. Perhaps your ex has realized that they're gay and you know that you don't have any same sex competition awaiting in conversation (the same could be if your ex begins to have a thing for the opposite sex).
I just found it funny how often and freely this statement is used and is never followed-through. Food, or "java" for thought.
